I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
