but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize