doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
