So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
