Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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