I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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