any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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