So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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