That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
