Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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