So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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