Your mouth is God's brothel.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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