wakey wakey hands off snakey
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
