Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
