well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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