Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
