walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
