Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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