Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
