Is it because I queefed?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
