escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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