Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
