my sisters under your porch take her home
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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