Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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