Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
