Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
