whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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