i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
