he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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