Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
