Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
