I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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