well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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