Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
