Three words: puerto rican gang bang
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
