Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
