I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
