I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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