we're blogging at a bar
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
