He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
