If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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