1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
