Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
