She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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