i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You made out with two different species that night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
