What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
