I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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