my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
