i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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