Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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