To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
