I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
