ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
