listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize