# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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