She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Randomize
