we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
