I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
