Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Terrible idea I love it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
