Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
