I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
