She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
