Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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