it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
