i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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