You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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