i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize