is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
