My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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