I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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