Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize