careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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