she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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