dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize