Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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