Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
as a side note pls kill me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
