I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
