He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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