Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
