i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
